Applying cynicism to fruit-on-the-bottom yogurts
I try to be as cynical as humanly possible in all situations. Not merely skeptical, but full-on cynical. Okay, that isn’t quite true, but for the purposes of this post, I’ll pretend like it is. It’s not like I can’t be maximally cynical on a whim or anything (though if you take my advice you’re liable to think I’m only saying I’m cynical for manipulative and comedic purposes).
I just ate a cup of Dannon “Fruit on the Bottom” yogurt (strawberry, to be exact). The name is pretty self-explanatory. Some fruit is at very bottom of the cup and the rest is plain yogurt. Before eating it, you have to mix it up manually with a spoon. It’s a bit of work and it’s never quite done satisfactorily; the bottom part of the cup always has a lot more fruit in it than the top, leading to an uneven eating experience.
So, applying the cynicism principle, I was thinking to myself, why would Dannon sell their yogurt in such an inconvenient manner? Why not just mix it up? Then the cynicism spoke to me. They probably save a few fractions of a cent per cup not by mixing it. It’s easier to manufacture the two ingredients separately separately, and then drop measured quantities of fruit and yogurt one after another into each cup with an automated machine, than it is to blend the two in the correct ratio and ensure a certain minimum amount of fruit gets into each cup (perhaps by blending the cups individually).
So, after saving a few fractions of a cent by using the simpler manufacturing process, Dannon asks itself, “How can we be evil?” And the answer is, “Oh, I know! Rather than trying to hide the poor quality of our non-blended yogurt, let’s turn it into an advertising slogan. Hey, we’ll name the very product ‘Fruit on the Bottom’! Now customers will think they’re getting something really clever and nifty, when in fact, all they’re getting is the result of deficiencies in our manufacturing process! Just snub their noses in it and they’ll be to stupid to question us!”
See, this is why it pays to be cynical, lest you risk falling for that kind of marketing claptrap. Now I’m off to ponder why hot dogs come in packs of 7 but buns come in packs of 8. I suspect it’s because the two share no common divisor, so the minimum purchase required to match quantities of buns and hot dogs is 56 (talk about a nice racket!).
September 3rd, 2007 at 21:27
It is also possible that even if yogurt were mixed, the more dense fruit tends to naturally sink to the bottom.
I personally don’t mix FOB yogurt with a spoon; I just shake it a bit.
September 3rd, 2007 at 21:49
Darmok: Hey, that sounds like an experiment! It’s certainly something that can be tested. My suspicion, though, is that yogurt is far too viscous and “sticky” to allow settling to occur, perhaps over short time frames, or maybe altogether. I don’t think the density of the fruit is that different from the yogurt, either. Wouldn’t it just be suspended in the yogurt, not moving either direction?
September 4th, 2007 at 00:17
Hmmm…well, it’s been a long time since my chemistry classes, but if I recall correctly, all suspensions will eventually settle out, given enough time. I’m reasonably sure the solid fruits are more dense than the semisolid yogurt, but anyway unless their densities are exactly equal, the fruit should eventually float to the top or settle to the bottom.
That being said, I have no idea what sort of time frame is needed. But it seems reasonable to me that given all the shaking and jostling in packaging, transporting, stocking, and shelving, the fruit could settle out.
Incidentally, are you sure hot dogs come in packs of 7? I can’t recall ever seeing such a number…it’s been quite a while since I bought hot dogs, but I’m quite sure they were packaged in even numbers, perhaps 10? In any case, I doubt that “racket” is the motivating factor…it’s too complicated and from a consumer standpoint it makes little sense to “match” quantities exactly. People often eat hot dogs without buns or just refrigerate the extra buns or freeze the extra. Hardly anyone would try to match up peanut butter and jelly and bread and so on to ensure that all components will run out simultaneously.
September 4th, 2007 at 09:30
Darmok: You might want to check the tags on this article for (part of) the answer to your hot dog question. But yes, they definitely do come in packs of 7. As for the yogurt, hrmmm, I defer to your knowledge. It does seem worth testing though.
September 5th, 2007 at 18:30
I thought hotdogs came in packs of 10 and buns in packs of 8… That still requires a good amount of each to match up properly.
September 5th, 2007 at 19:49
You sure about the 10 and 8 figures? What country are you from? At the grocery store around here (in Maryland), the mode bun package size is 8 and the mode hot dog package size is 7.
September 6th, 2007 at 00:30
Well, even if the fruit would take a long time to take to settle out on its own, keep in mind that it will settle a lot faster due to the fact that it constantly receies small-scale vibrations during shipping. This should accelerate the rate at which the yogurt sinks.
September 20th, 2007 at 09:34
i have a question what are some dangers of a blizzard i am just wondering ok well thnask feel free to reply htanks bye Boona Castrovok
September 20th, 2007 at 09:35
i am from portugal i have gotten someone to do the ifor me i am not good at english