Where alien abduction stories come from
My mouth tastes funny. Looking closely in the mirror, tilting my head down, opening my mouth wide, and reflecting the light from my Maglite flashlight into my mouth in the mirror, I can see the stitch at the back of my mouth where my wisdom tooth used to be just a week and two days ago. There’s a little hole between my cheek and the gum that is growing in to replace the lost tooth. I didn’t even know that the oral surgeon was putting a stitch in (he didn’t tell me!), so when I first took a look, I was had quite a shock. It looked like something was growing in my mouth, or exposed veins or nerves were hanging out. Luckily, it was just the stitches. My mouth still tastes funny though. I have the tiniest ever-present taste of blood.
I remember reading awhile back that most supposed alien abductions and probings are unconsciously modeled off of far more down-to-earth experiences at the dentist. After last Friday’s experience of getting two wisdom teeth removed, I would have to concur. It almost felt like an alien abduction. Give me a few years to let the experience sink in, and then a minor psychotic episode at some point, and I could easily see describing a “fresh” alien abduction that was really nothing more than subconscious dental memories.
The nitrous oxide laughing gas has a lot to do with it. It changed my perception of the world. I was still experiencing every moment, but everything seemed far away. I didn’t care what was happening. The procedure itself was very quick. I saw the oral surgeon going into my mouth with some tools, and before I even realized it, the bottom tooth was done. The local anesthetic worked wonders. I heard the cracking of tooth as they splintered and extracted the root, but it didn’t faze me. The only thing I felt was the hard pressing down that I can only assume was the insertion of the stitch.
All the while, the oral surgeon was talking with the assistant about obscure clerical matters. Something or other was coming in next week, and oh by the way, someone had rescheduled. I felt completely detached from reality. They ignored my presence, carrying on their own little conversations, while simultaneously extracting two teeth from my mouth. That was the weirdest part about it. That’s what most resembles the alien abduction story: the feeling that you are being worked on by beings who don’t care about your presence, and go on chatting about their business like nothing is unusual about the situation, even though the situation is extremely unusual to you. It’s humbling and dehumanizing. I was nothing more than a mouth that needed some work done.
The top tooth came out more easily (no splintering sounds this time), and did not require a stitch. I remember after the extractions, but before the nitrous oxide had a chance to wear off, how curious I was about what had just happened to me. I was surprised it was over so quickly. I had expected lots of tugging and wiggling to get the teeth free, but it turns out, it only requires a single motion with their special tool. Afterwards, I turned around and looked at the surgical table in amazement, still feeling very much detached, picking up one of the bloodied teeth and staring at it in amazement. I also checked out the special tool he had used to remove the teeth, a tool I hadn’t even caught a glimpse of when it was being used. It looked kind of like a cross between pliers, scissors, and a hole punch. Given that description, you can imagine how it is used.
I hadn’t gone into the oral surgeon’s office feeling afraid, but the assistant (nurse?) who was prepping me before the surgeon came in kept on asking if I was alright. I guess she deals with a lot of people who come in terrified, but her persistent worry for me actually made me feel slightly worried. If nothing else, I was worried about why she expected people to be more worried. But after all was said and done, it wasn’t that bad. The pain was not nearly as bad as I had heard from others. They prescribed me Vicodin, but Advil more than sufficed. The surgery didn’t really bother me. I’ve seen more intense things on Discovery Health and educational anatomy autopsy videos linked from Pharyngula (thanks, PZ).
But it was that feeling of being out of myself, of being nothing more than a passive participant in what was a very personal matter to me, that echoed so much the accounts people typically give of alien abductions. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe any of that hogwash, but now I know where it’s coming from. I always wondered why so many people reported, so consistently, the same descriptions of alien encounters. Now I think I know. There is a grain of truth to it after all, but the real source of it is human, not alien, in nature.
