The Internet sucks because idiots are legion and vocal
I’ve been pondering for awhile now why the Internet sucks so much. Sure, it has its good points (like free knowledge), but it also has the largest collection of idiots ever assembled in one place, virtual or not. All you have to do to verify this for yourself is to spend a few minutes browsing through random profiles on MySpace (don’t spend too long though; that level of stupidity is contagious). Some of that has to do with the anonymity that is frequently afforded on the Internet; after all, if you fear no repercussions, no damage to your reputation, then you won’t hold your tongue. But the problem goes deeper than that.
The problem is that the morons are incessantly vocal with their idiocy while the smart people generally know better and only pipe up when what they have to say is actually worthwhile. Let’s use this blog as a case study. The level of commenting here is overall pretty decent (though active moderation plays a bit of a role in that). But there’s one particular post that has attracted attention from the absolute worst of the web’s denizens: my post about Zwinky.
Zwinky is a crappy online “game” targeted at children, and it shows. The comments on that post are simultaneously ignorant, vulgar, poorly put together, and unnecessary. Like an intrepid scientist studying a fatal disease in a Petri dish, I have resisted destroying that which I know is evil in order to better study it, so the comments remain thoroughly and dangerously unsanitized. I dare you to read through all of those comments in their native state and not feel terrible for the prospects of humanity’s future.
These kids are just so damn dumb. They don’t know how to spell, they don’t know how to punctuate, they don’t really know how to write at all. It’s as if their English teachers tried their best at the Sisyphean task, realized the futility of it, and then, in sheer desperation, began having sex with their students in order to be sent to adult prison, where at long last they are no longer tormented by idiot kids. This is what IM speak does to people! And it’s horrendous! I tried to make a “New Rule” to elevate the level of conversation:
All comments must observe proper written English punctuation, spelling, grammar, capitalization, and proper style. All offending comments will be subject to immediate disemvowelment at my sole discretion. I don’t know if it’s all the lessons on creationism or sex with teachers, but it seems like they’re not teaching kids writing anymore in schools?!
But it proved hopeless, as it turns out none of the little buggers were actually reading the preceding comments before contributing their verbal diarrhea to the pot. Intelligent adults like you and I don’t mindlessly comment on every little thing; we only contribute to the discussion when we have something worthwhile to say. Not so with the Zwinkybots. My post on Zwinky doesn’t get a huge amount of traffic compared to some of my other posts, but it has gotten a lot more comments. It’s as if kids (and yes, I’m using “kid” interchangeably with “idiot” here), upon seeing a comment box eagerly awaiting input, cannot resist. This also explains the abysmal quality of comments on sites like Digg, and especially, YouTube. It’s the age-old 80/20 rule made manifest: 20% of the IQ is responsible for 80% of the comments.
I think we should start teaching in schools that participation isn’t valuable just for participation’s sake. Tell the damn kids that unless they truly have something worth saying it’s best not to pipe up at all, and by virtue of being kids, they will rarely have anything truly worth saying. This will also have the pleasant side effect of fewer instances of teacher-on-student sex. But I’m not hopeful. I think we’ve already lost this war. My only respite will be to focus my writing exclusively on topics that kids aren’t interested in whatsoever. Like grammar.
February 25th, 2008 at 09:55
Your observations also explain, of course, why Wikipedia is a phenomenal success and a catastrophic failure, both at the same time.
February 25th, 2008 at 12:21
rotfl lol,
zwinky iz da shittttt yo
fa reeeelzzz
OK. I’m done.
February 25th, 2008 at 15:33
In what way is Wikipedia a catastrophic failure? It serves as a one-stop place to look up almost anything you could care to. It doesn’t, by itself, count as a credible source for research above the the middle-school level, but most of the pages I’ve seen provide at least some citations and serve as a great starting place for almost any inquiry.
February 25th, 2008 at 15:36
Better idea Cyde: teach them English!
February 25th, 2008 at 16:02
Suggestion: Make this Flash video required viewing before posting.
http://www.tesuji.org/videos/posting.swf
(Ok, more directed at forums, but excellent nonetheless).
November 17th, 2008 at 10:22
Unfortunately, there’s little anyone can do to hold back the tide of total idiocy that runs rampant across the Internet today. Now, I understand that Internet shorthand has its place in certain areas (say, if you need to let off a quick text message to someone or the message charges by the letter; perhaps you’re playing an MMO and you’re not using voicechat, and you need to shoot off a message to your groupmates in the middle of combat, or something of that sort). But for the most part… we have 13+ years of education for a reason, do we not? I was under the impression that the things we learn in school are supposed to be utilized in most aspects of life: particularly the part where we speak English properly. For crying out loud, most of the people who rape the language via the Internet are American children and teenagers. This really does show just how far American education, and American society as a whole, has fallen. The sad part is I’ve seen and heard immigrants and foreign visitors write, type, read, and speak English more fluently than some native people I know.
God, I feel like crying now… I may not have liked my English classes in high school very much… but damn it, I strive for excellence and eloquence in most everything I write. I pride myself on being above the Internet zombies and their ‘l337sp34k’ or their horrible spelling and grammar skills. I may make a typo every now and again… but I try my damnedest, and that’s really all anyone can ask of a person. Am I so wrong that I would like to be able to read something without wincing in pain every two letters?
December 9th, 2008 at 03:47
Wince twice for every time someone winces at you. If you need encouragement to continue supporting opinions of the minority, do not look to the majority for support. Part of the sacrifice you make in standing for something you believe in tends to be becoming a target for others who do not. Everyone has an expiration date. Try focusing more on doing what makes you happy instead of repeating the lie that you have some say, or control over what people think and do. You cannot loiter in alleyways at 2 am and claim you were surprised when you were robbed. So why would you run to the special ed room of the internet and act surprised at the fart jokes?
The war is over, you lost when you took a side. Go buy a motorcycle and travel the world, lamp in hand, and attempt to find yourself some wisdom.
February 8th, 2009 at 16:35
I agree 100% on this. I hate the internet because there are so many obtuse people on it. It pains me to read a message board and see something like “idk, i kno what ur talking about”, holy crap, just type the damn thing out… People cannot puctuate or spell anymore, and what’s worse is the fact places like Pepsi is getting in on it by calling Mountain Dew “MTN DEW”, that just irks me because idiocy is spreading so quickly… Youtube is axiomatically one of the places that has the worst english ever, I hate Youtube for more than that reason, but it doesn’t concern the topic.
Overall I just now visit corperation sites where I can understand what I’m reading, I just feel bad for the English Teachers who have to deal with a world of kids who need drool cups…
On a side note, I speak leet, but only in characters and only as a code if I don’t want anyone to read what I am writing.
March 18th, 2009 at 13:54
I think that the internet has had the effect of giving people this illusion of instant celebrity. Instead of anonymity being the problem i think people go stupid because they have a willing audience. Sure people are idiots online, everyone is. Instead of derriding participation, we should focus on the tendancy in our society to seek fame. People who are trying to be famous end up presenting an image of themselves that is neither true nor accurate, and unfortunately it means they end up being trendy. Since being a moron online has paradoxically become fashionable our fame seeking kids are gonna play along with it.
March 18th, 2009 at 13:55
Participation isnt a problem if the people participating have no problem learning from their mistakes.
March 20th, 2009 at 22:04
80% of the world’s people are – whether they want to believe/like it or not – idiots.
80% of the 20 remaining % of the world’s people just don’t care.
80% of the 20 remaining % of the 20 remaining % of the world’s people are evil capitalists;
who use those 80%’s to gather huge sums of money on other people’s backs.
They are the ones in control of the so-called ‘democratic’ governments in the world.
Certainly, you weren´t expecting INTERNET to be any better?
Someone who sympethizes with the fight against ill-literacy.
April 21st, 2009 at 01:45
Grammar Nazi.
May 17th, 2009 at 22:21
He doesn’t even mention that internet is filled with evil and seductive entertainment.
That’s evil too for some people! ME! Why did i read this anyway? This is entertainment! lol
May 29th, 2009 at 01:07
I’ve seen the future, and it can’t spell, can’t use punctuation, has a 12 second attention span, and obsessive compulsive disorder.
June 6th, 2009 at 21:10
My god, it’s full of stars.
*This comment brought to you by the makes of American Idol*
++groupthink
June 10th, 2009 at 06:39
After a full 14 hours of watching useless internet junk instead of studying for my exams, thanks largely to a complete lack of motivation and an endless sea of laziness which washes over me daily, my frustration came to its pinnacle in the form of a google search.
What was that line of text? My last cry for help? My friends, my feelings of exasperation, coupled with claustrophobia and depression, emerged in the form of a simple yet poignant statement, which twists the very fabric of modern man upon itself, like a contradiction or a dark inspiration. I had entered “the internet sucks”. The search was over in a mere 0.2 seconds, and I forthrightly clicked upon the first result. Location: this very webpage.
What is the significance of this? My volition, chance, the google browser, and a series of tubes led me here. In what possible way can I contribute?
ur gaye! jus bcoz u thk ur smrt doesnt mean you cn tel me wot to rite on tha net. stfu!
I say no more.
June 11th, 2009 at 22:46
we are legion also you just lost
June 16th, 2009 at 22:29
in all fairness punctuation and capitalization don’t really determine the intellectual content of a poster’s remarks — in fact, they have nothing at all to do with it whatsoever
posting to a bbs or a blog or a forum or whatever flavor they come in years to come has absolutely nothing to do with writing professionally or scholarly, it’s about getting your point across to the other person in a way that they understand the content of your message. while punctuation and grammar play a role in understanding, the message:
“u suk @zzhole die and rot in hell lolz”
is no more intellectually stimulating when written:
“Your viewpoints suck, asshole. It would be amusing to me if you died and your soul was sent to rot in Hell.”
in fact writing it like that makes it seem even more hurtful and pointless, as if you’re putting more seriousness and weight behind your words
i agree with everything else you said though the internet is full of dumb bastards BUT it also always has been. it was no different in the 80’s there were stupid people who got their jollies trolling boards back then just to put peoples’ opinions down while they made no effort to contribute to the subject at hand
i think it’s sad now because since a much larger percent of the population has the internet readily available to them you can truly see the intellect:stupidity ratio of civilized humanity as a whole. in the 80’s only someone educated enough about the internet to want access to it had access to it, so the idiots were fewer and further between. now it’s fed to us with our mothers’ milk and every joe has access to something that was once informally reserved for government, businesses, and “nerds”
the only way to get rid of an idiot is the oft-heralded, tried and true method: DNFTT
do not feed the troll. people saying some stupid shit KNOW they’re saying some stupid shit and only say it because your reaction or getting some kind of rise out of you pleases them. if they get no reaction whatsoever you remove that pleasure :)
of course if whatever messaging system you’re posting to has ops or moderators they’re f’ed anyway
that’s my 2 cents
June 22nd, 2009 at 21:45
I’m going to have to disagree with you there. Knowing how to properly write is very strongly correlated with the intellectual worthiness of a post. Smart people can’t bear the thought of having their opinions disregarded for no reason other than not taking the time to make sure it doesn’t look like a complete idiot wrote them.
June 28th, 2009 at 03:50
I’d have to agree with you wholeheartedly on this blog entry of yours. The current idiocy of the internet astounds me. I cannot believe that the human race has declined so much in their intelligence.. It’s really quite pitiful. I’m finally coming to the conclusion that there is basically no point in posting anything on the internet, for there will always be these “children” who incist on publicly exposing their dumb.
July 13th, 2009 at 16:55
I agree with this entirely. I liken the internet to WALMART… morons abound, cheap products, everything becomes homogenous. What I’d really be interested in is starting a “smartnet”… an internet alternative if you like, where you have to demonstrate you have some intelligence to join. Eventually it would mirror the good and beneficial elements of information and exchange. Imagine reading in a forum where it’s not just the blind leading the blind… imagine reading provocative posts where people respond with intelligence and debate rather than the reactions of dumbfounded belligerence. Imagine… well… quality! Looking for partners to start it!
July 27th, 2009 at 07:45
It is true that there are many, many morons out there. The thing is that internet is internet, not real life. Their rantings don’t really matter. In real life they “pump gas and cut sheet metal” (to quote south park). On the net the idiots run rampant. In the real world, they just pump your gas.
August 25th, 2009 at 11:45
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111 HW DAER U SAY TT SWINKY IZ 4 KIDZ?????????????? U SUCK OMG WAT A FUKIN AS$ U GRANDMA SUX CAWKS AND U 2 JZ U FKIN’ SAY ZWINKY 4 KIDS. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAT A LOOOZER U R LOL LOL LOL
i bet a 12 year old could do that better than me
August 25th, 2009 at 16:29
>>On the net the idiots run rampant. In the real world, they just pump your gas.
Wow. So because someone has a low paying blue collar job they are an “idiot?”
September 2nd, 2009 at 03:28
I think you’re a hypocrite. If the internet sucks than why even post about it? Just turn off your computer and find something better to do. Blogs and idiots go hand in hand.
September 14th, 2009 at 19:40
I used to think “Oh, Wikipedia has sources so that means it must be true!” Some parts of it are good, but other parts are as biased as hell. What happens is, one user doesn’t like an article, so they go in and rewrite the whole thing and then troll it, making sure no one else changes anything in it. Citing a non-professional website, outdated scholarship (Google books mostly has things written 100 years ago), or someone who doesn’t have a degree, is a great way to make your side look like it’s relevant.
JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS PUBLISHED DOESN’T MEAN THAT THEIR OPINION COUNTS.
September 16th, 2009 at 21:28
humans are stupid. and the most stupidest of all are americans. u all should just die. the rest of the world are just waiting for your utter destruction. its happening and we all are laughing at u. hahaha.
September 18th, 2009 at 16:26
awesome
September 25th, 2009 at 04:32
I don’t use the internet much, though it has it’s points. I have never read a blog (first time for everything though), but I happened across this one. I drink sparingly, so lets call tonight an anomaly (despite my spelling/grammar, I can assure you I’m tanked).
You see, I registered a search query in Google for “why the internet sucks.” This site was top dog; congrats. I clicked and read.
The thing is, I had an agenda. I already know why the internet sucks. I wanted to know who else knew. Not too many, at a glance. But then, it might just be possible for the internet to know that it sucks and why, and so it might just intentionally bury the real reasons it sucks in the plethora of sites retrieved upon the aforementioned request. I scratched that last bit (I’ve been reading science fiction) and decided that a thorough search before bed would be mad, and sank into the futility of knowing that, for whatever the reason, my reason for why the internet sucks did not appear among the first few sets of hits. Well, here’s my chance. [Though nothing on the internet is really anonymous (unless you really know what you're doing)]
I might add that Google registered eighteen million seven hundred thousand hits for the aforementioned query. You couldn’t put that many pies in an oven.
The internet is the latest (and most drastic, consuming, catalyzing) development of a logical and systemic acceleration of the movement of capital. The internet was meant to make rich people richer. Sure, free knowledge. I indeed often depend on it, though I know how to use a library. Yet the costs are still greater. Get rid of it, I say. It connects our brains while dislocating our bodies. But you see, we need both (no exception regarding communication). It’s a perfect evil; we think it’s god. But anyway, I’m all puttered out. Just think about it, eh?
September 30th, 2009 at 10:42
As odd as it may sound, every time I read a post blasting out system of education and grammatical errors, I can generally find at least two grammatical errors in every paragraph posted by the author of said post. I generally make it a point to not point these errors out due to my Southern upbringing. It would simply be impolite and not of gentlemanly ways. But… Rest assured, I do see them.
I make plenty of mistakes myself so I’m certainly not the one fit to cast the first stone as it were.
We all need to take into account that languages change and evolve as time passes. New words and variant spelling enter our everyday speech while others become obsolete. The average modern English speaker would have great difficulty carrying on a coherent conversation with an English speaker just a few hundred years ago. Even today, regional variations are vast in almost all languages including and especially English.
Technically, English isn’t even a real language to begin with. It’s a mix of Germanic, a bit of Latin, and a whole lot of various Gaelic dialects. Then when we add the use of the Latin alphabet, things are bound to get tossed about.
But, just for the record, beside misspellings, the most common error I see from quite eloquent posters is the use of a comma when a period would do just fine.
October 10th, 2009 at 20:25
~t3h br34k dwn 0f l4n93 1s b34-tf1~ xD
October 24th, 2009 at 21:36
It, is pretty funny that people with only one practice Language, always blame other countries people to practising a non-native. nice… Lern German, perfect. then we talk again. Btw. I talked with a Germanteacher from the usa. And his german was terrible in relation to mine english.
The sense of a Language is that you got understood and nothing else.
good luck!
achja: Amerikaner sind anscheinend doch ziemlich beschrenkt, auch wenn sie das nicht gerne hören.
January 26th, 2010 at 12:58
I think the incessant posting of comments on forums is fueled by a desire to communicate and to relate. Easier said than done, really…
Meaning, once condensed into language, suffers loss of complexity until all that’s left is the one-dimensional polemic. Us & Them. Mensa vs. Moron.
But there’s hope: ideas clad in metaphors of everyday human experience become accessible to millions. Best of all is the common household pet (Schroedingers cat, for instance).
Damned be the dog that ate the world wide web!
January 26th, 2010 at 13:40
hmm.. “the god damn dog ate the world wide web” probably works better.. Another example of form versus function, I guess.
February 2nd, 2010 at 14:20
Obviously you all seem to spend too much time on the web as its causing you web rage hehe
February 2nd, 2010 at 14:33
. , ; ‘ Aa Bb Cc Does it really matter. I mean your all Clearly Intelligent enough to understand there CoOl NeW LaNgUaGe LoL init yo ya Kno wha him saying blud Shiiiittttt (suck teeth) haha. Yes ok i give in they do suck but i dont let it get to me they’ll grow up one day we hope…..
February 6th, 2010 at 10:10
Technically, English isn’t even a real language to begin with. It’s a mix of Germanic, a bit of Latin, and a whole lot of various Gaelic dialects.
Technically, yes it is. It’s a Germanic language, just as valid as Icelandic, Dutch or Swedish. Having influences from other languages doesn’t not make it ‘not even real’. If that were the case, no known language on earth could be defined as ‘real’.
And the fact that languages are always evolving does not take away from the argument that the casual use of English is degenerating. When a language becomes less expressive – as is the case with modern English – it is completely valid to criticise the phenomena.
As for the original post, the vast majority of humans live like parasites off the achievements and innovations of the top 5%. This has always been the case. If it weren’t for the top 5%, most of the humans today would have starved to death by 21, as nature intended.
It shouldn’t surprise us that when the dregs of humanity(i.e almost all of humanity) get a ‘voice’ that ‘voice’ doesn’t sound intelligent. It never was. It never will be. But you haven’t seen anything yet. Wait until about 2020, when the rest of the world finally gets online. 1998-2010 will be seen as a golden age in comparison.
March 7th, 2010 at 00:44
I also agree with the person who said just because you use proper grammar doesn’t necessarily mean you are intelligent. I know some very educated people who are absolutely clueless when it comes to people. Take the grammar police and people who get off on correcting people’s grammar. Does this mean they are smart? Or are they on some power kick through the internet with people they have never spoken in their lives. I’m much more an in person sort of person. I’ve had my share of misunderstandings where people like you think you are so smart but really aren’t. Your post can come off as pretty arrogant as well. You said yourself people who are vocal are idiots. So saying what you did does that make you an idiot? According to your rules it does.
The reality is actual intelligence is pretty rare these days. You have a lot of robots and it goes both ways and from both sides. It amazes me when someone actually says something out of the box, usually it’s either banned or misunderstood or whatever. It’s sad really. Some of the bigger corporate sites are just as bad and the worst of the bunch actually. Whoever said the bigger corporate sites are better has obviously never been to most of them.