Why men’s gymnastics is better than women’s gymnastics

Monday, August 18th, 2008

Men’s gymnastics is better than women’s gymnastics (not that either is even close to my favorite sport, mind you). Here’s why.

In addition to having events that focus on grace, flexibility, tumbling, vaulting, etc., men’s gymnastics has at least two events that focus mainly on strength: pommel horse and rings. And why is a focus on strength important? Because then you can’t have fricking 12-year-olds with forged passports from a host country illegally competing in a gymnastics event (can you tell that I’m bitter?).

Look at all of the male gymnasts. They’re built. You’re not going to see that kind of muscle strength on a twelve year old. In men’s gymnastics, there is no temptation to try to skirt the rules and run a gymnast who’s under sixteen because any gymnast under sixteen would be utterly trounced. There’s simply no way they’d be strong enough to handle some of the events. By comparison, there is a big impetus in women’s gymnastics to try to sneak in under-agers because there’s nothing other than the rules that would make them unable to compete.

Besides my bitterness over the United States getting beat by a team of way-underaged Chinese gymnast cheaters, there’s another reason for preferring men’s gymnastics: Since the competitors are older, they frequently start later in life, allowing them a couple more years of unfettered childhood before they’re shipped off to gymnastics camp gulags. There’s no way in hell what’s happening to these girls who start training at the age of 4 is healthy.